46 Comments
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Joshmann's avatar

Most times we don’t even know that we have a problem that needs to be fixed. Self reflection is so important

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Ese ♡♥︎'s avatar

Very true dear. Thank you for reading💕

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Umukoro refuge's avatar

"Because nobody can love you in a way that makes up for the love you refuse to give yourself"❤❤

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Angrybird's avatar

Gloria!!!

You could’ve just called my name 😫😫

We’re usually not blind to our own mistakes and insecurities, we just expect the other party to accept us like that

This write up is mind blowingggggggg

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Blossom's avatar

So I should drop my bad character? 😞

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Ese ♡♥︎'s avatar

Yes dear😂. Please do..

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Alawale Divine's avatar

Jesus 😭. I'm new here and I just had to reply, this was soooo good 😭. It's so well articulated and heart binding. Thank you for blessing me with this piece ❤️

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Ese ♡♥︎'s avatar

Thank you darling! Welcome to Substack! ❤️

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Joanna Enoch's avatar

It's important to heal before entering a relationship fr...imagine losing a potential life partner because of a crucial flaw you could've have worked on.

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Resame-Okim's avatar

Girllll, How can I like this 5 more times pleaseeeeee!!!😭

If you have a problem, open your MOUTH and SPEAK FGSK!!!!

I never understood silent treatment, stonewallimg when there's a challenge, and these things ruin relationships very easily. If you have a communication problem, ALAYE please fix itttttt!!!!🙏🏾🥹

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Solanne's avatar

If you enter broken, insecure, and bitter, love won’t magically wash it away.

I hate the narrative of loving people to wholeness. No one is thinking about the person who keeps getting cut, trying to remain in a relationship with a mentally and emotionally draining person.

Loved this!!

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Gatsby's avatar

"…Spell it out. Say what you mean, mean what you say…" Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating, they say. So, in a relationship, there's a need for adequate communication and not passing mixed messages. Because people can be oblivious to seemingly obvious cues if not communicated effectively, then we find ourselves “…half the time…defending [ourselves] in "court" because we found it hard to communicate efficiently. I guess that's why it's called courtship – we defend ourselves 😂😂, which shouldn't be.

So yeah, a relationship isn't a rehabilitation centre where you expect your partner to be the good doctor to help you heal, you need to work on yourself. Because, in the end of the day, you'd end up hurting yourself and the person in question.

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Ese ♡♥︎'s avatar

Exactly! A relationship isn’t a hospital to fix people who need healing. Work on yourself first. You cannot pour into the cup of others when yours is empty.

Thanks for stopping by…😃

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darkwritez's avatar

I think this is really all of us..we mask our inadequacies by blaming others.

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Ese ♡♥︎'s avatar

True. Thank you for reading 😀

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Titeb-Rik ✏️'s avatar

Relationships really amplify what is hidden

From my first relationship I discovered that what someone is to you as a friend is way different than what they are to you as a lover.

If you need to heal do it before entering a relationship or you find yourself not just being the problem but you will find that the person you are even with is a mirror and the reflection isn't pretty to look at, at all

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Favour's avatar

Whatever made you write this, had me in mind!!!

i will fix my spikes first

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writer. the worst kind.'s avatar

im crying im tired of getting my kindness being taken advantage if i do those things

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Ebube Okonkwo's avatar

"Say what you mean, mean what you say". Forever a mantra I live by.

Communication is indeed a virtue, a beautiful one at that.

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David Panthera's avatar

We don't talk cos we don't want them to leave ...it turns out they'll leave still

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Mereum Kel's avatar

To be honest, everyone is a walking red flag. The important thing is that, we're all ready to wash away the red stains for the person/people we love.

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